


Unconditional

by serienjunkie



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: Decisions, Difficult Decisions, F/M, Love, Relationship(s), Surprises
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-18 01:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7293214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serienjunkie/pseuds/serienjunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr. Christa Lorenson knew something wasn't right. But what she finds out is something she can't and doesn't have to face alone.<br/>My turn on how the Season 2 of Code Black could start, with Christeal (ChristaxNeal)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unconditional

**Author's Note:**

> It's also for people who don't know the show!

Christa's POV  
Waking up I again felt nauseous. Like the previous days, I bolted up and ran into the bathroom. Throwing up into the toilet. I sat there for another few minutes. Debating why I was throwing up this often. I thought about every possibility. Also a pregnancy but I soon threw this thought away. Because I can't be pregnant. Not with my age and not after everything that happened. Remembering the Indian food, I ate three days prior I was sure I had a small food poisoning. 

Not thinking about it any longer I got under the shower, preparing myself for the long shift ahead.  
I forgot to introduce me, I'm Dr. Christa Lorenson, a first-year resident at Angels Memorial in Los Angeles. I loved working there but after the recent events that happened I was glad when I was off work.  
So many things happened lately. I begin with as I fell for one of my superiors. After meeting him we started to work together regularly, one time even enjoying breakfast with a few bloody Mary's the professional relationship started to change into a friendship. I could talk to him honestly and I trusted him. After I lost a patient who I could've saved we ended up kissing in the supply room. Ending in spending a night together. We both knew this wasn't just a one-time thing. We wanted to keep it under wraps but Dr. Gina Perello knew it and she honestly was pissed off. Telling me to sign this form or break it off. I'm talking about Dr. Neal Hudson, a doctor from London starting at Angels almost 8 years ago. I told him about the form, not wanting to break it off. But he hesitated.

As this wasn't already enough. A patient, Gordon Heshman, killed our ER Director Dr. Gina Perello and injuring my colleague Dr. Malaya Pineda, who also is my friend. Luckily she got saved by Dr. Angus Leighton, who also is our friend and a fellow resident. But what neither of us knew what really happened down in the parking lot. He talked with his brother, Dr. Mike Leighton, who in return recently became Director of the residency program and worked with them. He made Angus promise him to talk with no one about this, which in return resulted in abuse of Adderall, a common drug used for patients with ADHD.  
The drama was perfect and we all were more or less interrogated by our CEO Dr. Ed Harbert and some lawyers. I thought after that, things would get better but it always comes differently. I still was dating Neal, but then his ex-girlfriend, Dr. Grace Adams decided to finish her year in Haiti and come back to Angels. To be honest, yes, I felt threatened by her because Neal wouldn't want to tell me. Which I understood part time. But I was his new girlfriend, I deserved to know the truth. After working together with her and seeing him and her looking at each other I couldn't take it anymore. With the words "I won't be anybody's second choice!" I broke it off. Regretting it ever since. I just realized then how far I fell. But as stubborn as I am I wouldn't want to talk to him. Saving myself from more hurt, I thought.

That should be it for the moment.

Arriving at the hospital 10 minutes before the shift I entered the locker room and changed into my scrubs. Another wave of dizziness got me and I had to hold myself at my locker room.  
Luckily I was alone in there and no one saw me struggle. Sitting down and resting for a few minutes I stood up again leaving the room, feeling a little bit better I got to work in the ER. Patients already incoming. It was around 9 o'clock in the night. Another night shift for me. I liked night shifts. Most of the time we were in Code Black and I was able to get my head off the things I so often thought about.  
Working through the first six hours into my shift I was busy. One patient coming in after another. Working with the ER residency director Dr. Leanne Rorish was always the better option. But like today wasn't bad enough I had to work with Dr. Hudson, who after deciding to take the Liaison position between the Emergency room and Surgery he ever so often had to leave. Then I got the luck to work with Dr. Adams. We didn't really get along on a personal base. I still believed that she tried to get back together with Neal.

"Another income!" Neal told us and a few seconds later we already stood outside waiting for the patient. The exhaustion and the not drinking nor eating took its toll me and I felt the dizziness raising.   
Swaying a little bit Neal got worried and asked me "You okay?". Watching me I nodded. Luckily for me, the ambulance arrived taking all our attention.  
Through the diagnosis and saving his life the dizziness got worse, being under observation by Neal. Beal was leaving with the patient to go up to surgery as I saw dancing starts and mere seconds later everything went black with me falling to the ground.

Neal's POV

I left center stage with the patient and his bed as I heard Malaya's worried "Christa!" I immediately turned around searching for the blond hairs which belonged to Christa. But all I saw was Malaya kneeling on the ground.

"Bring him upstairs and please page Dr. Campbell. He has to do the surgery. I'm needed here!" I told Nurse Amy and with that, I quickly walked over to Malaya.  
"What happened?" I asked her as I kneeled beside her looking at Christa. She still hadn't regained consciousness, which worried me. Looking her over I didn't see any more injuries.   
"I don't know, from one to another she fell." Malaya told me. Finding a steady pulse, I took her body into my arms carrying her bridal style to one of the available beds.  
Meanwhile, Leanne joined us. Looking at me she asked me what had happened. My answer "I don't know." wasn't enough and she told me to find out what was wrong.  
Ordering an IV, I waited for it. Less than a minute later and a nurse brought me the fluids and necessary things.

Inserting the needle and attaching the fluids I looked at her form. She looked like she was sleeping but I saw the exhaustion resting on her face. Taking her hand, I felt her stir and looked at her.  
"Christa?" I asked as her eyes fluttered open.

"Where am I?" she asked disoriented. "In the hospital. In a bed." I answered and saw her demeanor change. Getting aware on what must've happened she stiffened up taking her hand away from his.   
Why? I asked myself as every so often in the past week. Why did Grace have to come back and Why couldn't I just tell her how I feel? Now she didn't even want to talk to me.  
"Could you please get Leanne?" Christa asked me then. It hurt and I believe she saw my expression. But I couldn't do anything against it now, so I left and got Leanne.  
Leanne's POV

I heard how Christa fell to the floor but I was elbow deep in the guts of some gang member, trying to save his life. But I saw how Neal left his patient to go and care for her and I again asked myself how this could go wrong like that? Both still care, when not even still love each other. After stabilizing the patient, I walked over to Neal asking him if he knew what was wrong. He declined to know and I told him to find out, I already had to leave again. After around 10 minutes Neal walked towards me, having a depressed look on.  
"She wants you, Leanne." He just said and his posture told me everything.

"I'll go and take a look. If you can…" I said pointing to my patient. "Of course." He said and I left to go see Christa.  
"Dr. Lorenson?" I asked after I stepped to her bed. "Are you okay?" she looked a little bit pale and I would need her at 100%.  
"I think so, maybe a little food poisoning." She answered truthfully, but I could see that someone else was bothering her.  
"You sure?" I asked in return.  
"Honestly? No…" she said and I could see how sad she was and how her emotions got the better of her.  
"What's wrong? Is it about Neal?" I sat down on the side of the bed, now being her friend than a superior. Because I knew she needed it.   
"Yes…But how would you know?" she asked me shocked, he never told he gave them the HR relationship disclosure form.   
"After the interview with Dr. Harbert and the lawyers he gave us the disclosure form, signed." I answered and she looked surprised and shocked.  
"Oh god. He never told me." She said, her arms clasping together.

"Why did you break-up?" I wanted to know. They were a couple I knew who had a perfect match.  
"Because of Dr. Adams and I thought he never signed the form." Telling me I saw his devastated look. I wanted to tell her something as she cringed and signed for a bucket. I spring up and not even a second too late I gave it to her and she threw up.  
"You have that often?" I asked her, having an idea in mind.  
"Yeah, the third time today." She told me, probably still tasting the vomit. Leaving shortly, I brought her a cup of water and one of the pink plastic bowls to spit it out. While she did so I took the needed things to take a blood sample.  
"I'm going to draw some blood, okay." I said and started.  
"But I can't be… Not after what happened with my family, my son." She said tears spilling. How good I understand her. We both had our loss. I've lost both my children and husband to a drunk driver. I was devastated and I wouldn't know if I ever was ready to get other children. I've lost mine from one to another second and Christa? After two years of fighting, she lost her son to a brain tumor and her husband to divorce.   
Losing your child is one of the greatest fear of a mother.  
"I know, let us see first what the test says and then we can look for a solution. Alright?" I said and after finishing with the blood sample I hugged her. She nodded and I took off to bring the sample to the lab as fast as I could.  
Her blood sample hadn't top priority so we had to wait for another three hours. Malaya and Angus, as well as Mario, visited her frequently. Neal watching her from afar.

Christa's POV

In between the visits from my fellow friends and colleagues Malaya, Angus and Mario, I saw how Neal was watching me. After what Leanne told me I felt so utterly stupid, how could I ever have thought something like that?  
As Nurse Risa came checking on my vitals and fluids I asked "Could you please page Dr. Hudson?" and she nodded already leaving to page him.  
As I thought Neal was around so not even five minutes later he stood by my side looking fairly worried.  
"Everything alright?" he asked and I just nodded, I couldn't say anything my feelings overwhelming me. I thought about everything. About what happened with Neal, her baby boy, and her failed marriage, as well as my possible pregnancy. Tears started to spill and even if I wanted to I couldn't stop them.  
What have I done?  
Alerting Neal, he instantly came closer to me hugging me.  
"I'm…so sorry Neal!" I brought out. I just sunk into his arms enjoying the feeling of being close and his smell. "It's okay Christa! We can talk about everything in a bit. Just please try to calm down!" he whispered into my ear.

I stopped crying after a few more minutes and just stayed in his arms a little bit longer. How I missed this feeling of being so close to him.  
"I should have let you talk to me." I said as I broke the embrace, I wanted to talk before I get the results of the blood sample.  
"I should have been honest with you and I should have told you that I signed the form." He answered truthfully. He sat on the side of my bed holding my hand.  
"But you know me, I usually can't talk about my feelings…but you never were my second choice!" he said, taking a break in between before the tears were falling.  
"Oh Neal,… I'm so sorry. I don't know how I ever could…" I couldn't finish my sentence because Leanne came in. Probably with the test results. I looked at her but her expression didn't tell me anything. Neal turned around and also looked at Leanne, expectantly.

"Is it?" I asked her scared. Now would come the truth.  
"Yes. As expected." She said coming closer. Neal still sat there, confused. Leanne walked over to my other side. She put the test results into my file and gave me a smile. Which said as much as "Congratulations!" she left the room and I feel as Neal's hand left mine. Standing up he wanted to get the file reading the test results.  
"No, Neal, please. I have to tell you." I said and he looked at me worried. I didn't even know how I should feel; so how should he be feeling?   
"I…I'm…pregnant." I stuttered out. My head falling into my hand's tears falling again. Now it's out but it still doesn't seem to be real. I just started to cry, actually, the heaviest I ever did after my son died. I sobbed uncontrollably. Every thought about this small child inside me, the relationship thing with Neal, my failed marriage, and my dead son. It just was too much for me. I never thought I would ever want to have a child again.

Whilst crying I felt Neal closing his arms around me holding me close. He let me cry but I never got my breathing back to control. Starting to hyperventilate I started to have a panic attack.   
I am pregnant!   
My head told me and the fear of possibly losing this child made me panic.  
"Christa, darling. Listen to me…okay. We will get your breath normally again." He said lifting up my chin so I was looking into his eyes.  
In med school, we learned to make eye contact and to let the patient focus on the other. How he was breathing.  
"Breath in and breath out. Precisely, just like that. Breath in and breath out. You are doing fine darling." He said and it truly did help. His voice always had a soothing effect on me. So soft and rough, but also totally British and sweet.

After a few minutes, I calmed down again pressed against his chest. Just inhaling his scent and feeling his warmth. I don't know how long we sat there but I was totally exhausted.  
"I am in this with you. All the way! You, this little one and I." he told me and it was one of the sweetest things he ever said.   
I felt how one of his hands wandered down on my belly and for the first time this day I had an honest smile on my lips.  
But there were still a few things we would have to discuss.  
"I'm sorry darling, but we will talk later when I pick you up!" he said after he looked at his pager. Getting up reluctantly he left my side and now I was alone again, left with thinking.  
I still wasn't completely happy. Mostly because of the unresolved things with Neal. I just need this talk to make things right.  
I stared off into space as I heard someone clearing his throat. It was Leanne who looked at me with a curious look. As if she wanted to ask how he reacted and if he is in there with me.  
"He's not backing out." I said a small smile forming.

"That's good. I knew he wouldn't!" Leanne said sitting down on the side.  
"When can I get back to work?" I asked her. I wanted to be back as soon as possible. I hated just sitting there all by myself. helpless.  
"Tomorrow, you'll stay here till Neal picks you up." She said with her I-don't-accept-a-no voice and there wasn't anything I could protest with.  
I actually did feel a lot better, the IV still dripping. Malaya had brought me some salt crackers to eat and ginger ale to drink a few hours ago.  
Luckily shift was almost over and I didn't have to wait that long, but I hated it to watch the others in code Black and I wasn't allowed to help.  
Sitting there and watching them do their work I feel into thoughts.  
About my residency and my baby. I sure as hell wanted this baby and slowly happy thoughts surrounded my mind. How I got a second chance to have another child and how I have found the perfect man to have this child with.

"Christa…hey!" Neal said more than once till he got my out of my train of thoughts. "You ready to go home?" he asked me and I smiled at him.  
"Yes as ready as I will ever be!" I said fully sitting up and my feet's dangling over the side of the bed, ready to be discharged.  
"When's Leanne coming?" I asked him, all I wanted was to go home, with Neal.  
"Already here." She said chuckling, looking at my vitals.

"Everything looks good. But Neal, keep an eye on her!" she said looking directly at Neal, who nodded in return. I believe he won't let me out of his sight.  
"Then I am ready to go." I said expectantly. "Sure, just let us fill out the papers and you are free to go." Leanne told me and walked away with me. He must be the one signing the papers off. I patiently sat there waiting for Neal to come and get me.  
"Come on darling, let's go and change." He said and I stood up. I felt a little bit dizzy but it wasn't as bad as a few hours ago. But I still held onto Neal, I didn't want to fall again.  
Together we left the beds and walked towards the locker room and changed into street clothes. Hand in hand we left the hospital with a happy smile on our faces. We both know there was a lot to talk about but for now, it was perfect.

Neal drove us home and I just stared out the window. I already call his apartment home. Even if our first attempt of a relationship only held for a few weeks we had built a tight bond. Which I was too stupid to think he could ever leave me to get back together with Grace. But I wasn't ready to get my heart broken again after what my husband did. Leaving me for another woman after our son died. I still had the happy memories, but after he shoved this in my face and humiliated me, I didn't even have those.  
I really thought that he is the love of my life, but with Neal everything was different. He always threatened me like I was the only woman on earth and almost worshiped the ground I was walking on.  
Real love, I guess, and I've been blind to just see the bad side.  
"Hey, we are here." He said and lightly touched my shoulder. I flinched because he brought me back from my trance I was in. I turned my head and smiled at him. Leaving the car, we walked up into his apartment.  
Putting out bags on the side of the entry we stored our shoes and jacket, like we would've done nothing else in the past months.  
"Can we talk?" I asked him and he looked at me fairly shocked. What did he think?  
"Of course!" he said and gave me a half smile, the one who didn't reach his eyes.  
"I am so sorry, after…" I started but he stopped me. "Christa..." he wanted to tell me that it's okay, that it doesn't matter anymore. But I needed him to understand.  
"Please, don't." I told him and he nodded, telling me to continue.  
"You already know about my son. But what I didn't tell you was about my ex-husband. I never thought it matter but it does. After our son died we drifted apart. After months he came and filed for divorce, telling me he had someone new. He all but shoved me in the face. I felt betrayed, humiliated and hurt. I never thought he would do something like that." I had to take a short break. He looked at me with understanding eyes, waiting patiently for me to continue.

"After Grace came back and you just closed off I thought history would repeat itself and I feared something good again. I was scared to lose you and in the end, my action just did that. For this, I am sorry because I won't ever want to let you go now!" I said and I teared up. How he looked at me. So tender and understanding I just fell a little bit more for him.  
"Christa…" he was baffled. Like every so often he thought about what to say. He always did.  
"I am sorry too! I should have been more open with you from the begging. It was unsettling to see her again after a year, but it never changed my feelings for you. Which overwhelm me every day. I would be stupid to let both of you go!" he said. We more or less stood in the hallway. He quickly minimized the space between us and put his forehead on mine. Something which had so much meaning for both of us.  
Closing my eyes, I relaxed and I suddenly felt his hand on my belly, slightly caressing it. This conjured a big smile on my face. Then I leaned in and our lips met for the first time in months and sparks flew.  
For this moment only we existed. I almost forgot how tender and sweet he kissed and how tasty his lips were. The feels were endless and he elicited a soft moan from me.  
Panting and gasping for air we parted, forehead still locked together I looked into his eyes and saw love. Pure unconditional love.  
"There's something else Neal." I said and took a step back. What was coming now could end everything in a matter of seconds.  
"What is it darling?" he asked me, still a little delirious from the kiss. I thought about this in the hospital watching my colleagues and friends work their magic and it was just clear. I would give everything for my child. In a matter of seconds.

Learning about the late pregnancy, I already am 37 and wasn't prepared to be pregnant again. But after a while, I started to enjoy the thought of being a mother again.  
"You remember Heshman and you remember the family vendetta?" I said and he nodded, he probably didn't like where I was going with this, even if he didn't know. Angel's Memorial is his home and he wasn't okay with leaving a year ago, so why would he now? But I had to tell him.  
"I just have the feeling about when things like this happen again. Me being pregnant…I don't want to jeopardize this precious life with something we can't predict. I want to finish my residency somewhere else." I said and now it was out. He looked at me in shock. Mouth agape he closed it again, didn't know what to say.  
"I know Angels is your home and I won't ever ask you to leave, but it's what I think is best for our baby." I again said and looked at him. Trying to be confident, but I probably failed, hard.AS I looked into his eyes I didn't see any anger or hurt. I saw understanding and love.  
"You are my home, Christa! I don't want to be where you are not. I want to protect you and the baby, but I know I can't. But whatever you want, I'll fully support you because I am madly in love with you!" he said smiling and I could just look at him.

His love was so big, so deep and so unconditional.  
"My Neal Hudson…" I said, breathing in and breathing out I searched for words. For words, there weren't even out there.  
"You are my home, my world. You showed me how to love again. I love you. God, I love you so much it hurts sometimes." I said and for the second time, our lips met in a searing kiss. Giving all the feelings into the kiss I all received them back.

This seriously felt like true, endless love.

**Author's Note:**

> I plan on writing the second part, just don't know when.  
> I hope you like it!


End file.
